What are You Laughing At ?

Some people said, if we want to know a person’s true nature, we should see how he or she treats children. Others said we should see how he or she treats the inferiors. Maybe you have your own criterias, I don’t know. I do have my own criterias. But now, I have one new criteria in my mind. I once read a fan-fiction story, in which the main character said a very meaningful line, “if you want to know a person’s true nature, you should see when he or she laugh.” And recently, I just found out what that line means.

Few days ago, I got a severe allergic reaction attack plus a mild food poisoning. I had to stayed in bed for several days, worst experience in my medical records. At first, I felt a little bit queasy in my stomach after I ate a portion of re-heated shrimp at lunch, and then itchy red spots started to appear on my skin. It was few at first, and I felt good enough to go for work, so that’s what I did. I went for work. It went well for the first one hour, but after break-time, I gave up. I went down to instructor’s office to take a rest (by the way, I’m teaching at study center), and felt gradually worse than before.

I tried to hide my true condition from my friends, but eventually they found out, probably because my face was already turning redder and redder. “What happened to you ?” One asked. It was impossible for being discreet anymore, so I told them truth. What I ate, how it started, and so on. My boss finally took pity on me and told me to go home. I packed my bag and went to the front office, where several of my friends already sat and chatted. And when they saw me, walking gingerly because of stomachache, with my face already turned red and hot while my body felt so cold, do you know what they did ? They laugh.

This is what they said, “next time you eat shrimp, you have to bring some for us. Why, you got sick alone because you didn’t bother to bring some for us.”

If I didn’t ill, that was a joke. But in my condition that time, nothing I could think about except “what a cruel joke ! I even have to try hard to be polite, let alone to laugh along.” Thank God I still had self-restrain to kept myself from snapping at them. Along the journey to hospital, inside my mother’s car, my mind wandered into that story, and that line. “You should see when they laugh.” Yes, I finally understood that. How many times we found ourselves laugh at something that clearly didn’t have to be laugh at ? When someone stumped and fell and clearly in pain ? When someone said wrong answer in the classroom ? When someone “looked funny” because they have imperfect feature or body parts ?

I’ll let you people answer that.

Poems by Michelangelo (3)

This sonnet was written in 1534 by Michelangelo for Tommaso Cavalieri, his prodigy and, later, best friend until his death.

English version :

Not even by raising my thoughts as high as possible can I imagine another figure, whether of pure spirit or of earthly flesh, with which my will arm itself against your beauty.

For, separated from you, I seem to sink so low that Love deprives and strips me of all strength; so when I think of lessening my sufferings he, doubling them, threatens me with death.

It is useless, then, for me to spur on my flight, doubling the pace at which I fly from hostile beauty, for the less speedy never gains distance on one who moves so swiftly.

Love with his own hands dries my eyes, promising that I shall hold all effort dear: for he who costs so much cannot himself be base.

Italian version :

Non posso altra figura immaginarmi o di nud’ ombra o di terrestre spoglia, col più alto pensier, tal che mie voglia contra la tuo beltà di quella s’ armi.

Chè da te mosso, tanto scender parmi, c’ Amor d’ ogni valor mi priva e spoglia, ond’ a pensar di minuir mie doglia duplicando, la morte viene a darmi.

Però non val che più sproni mie fuga, doppiando ‘l corso alla beltà nemica, chè ‘l men dal più veloce non si scosta.

Amor con le sue man gli occhi m’ asciuga, promettendomi cara ogni fatica: chè vile esser non può chi tanto costa.

What Will They Grow Up Into ?

If you spend half an hour everyday in front of TV at morning, afternoon, evening or night time, you will likely getting swept away by a flood of news. And what kind of news that make people open their eyes and ears so quickly after being woken up in the morning better than criminal news ? Sleepy eyes will opened quickly hearing words like “rape”, “murder”, “fornication”, and “sexual abuse”. Some people I know will choose to continue their sleep when they heard words like “economic review”, “political awareness”, or “celebrating the Month of Reading” and “A Day Without Smoking” from their TV. Okay, just kidding. But you get my point.

Some people will comment for sure, either by deep observation to the problem, or merely just lean to their pseudo-science theories. Students, teachers or social workers will discuss the cases, while others will bring those up at coffee-break when they already have run out of conversation. Another will prefer to react emotionally, while others will just watch nonchalantly and forget them after the news over, thinking about them as another world’s problems that completely out of their reach (as long as those are not happened to them or someone they know).

Speaking about that, I remember a short story I’ve read seven or eight years ago. It was Seno Gumira Ajidarma’s “Ratih”. The story was about a little girl, who saw a dead-body floating in the river near her house, and she tried to tell her parents and neighbours, but they didn’t believe her. Doesn’t matter the detail, but there was a monologue—thought of Ratih, actually—that made me quite thinking for a while. The point was, when she saw that body, already swollen and rot among the water-plants, still clad in his shirt and trouser and wore a wrist-watch, she thought “who was he ? What was his name ? What was his job ? What had happened to him long before he became like this ? Did her mother know that her son, her beloved son she gave birth and raised with so much hope, someday would ended-up as a floating dead-body in a river ?”

Now watch the picture of a baby I put on the top. I believe all of you have seen face like that. Cute, eh ? Everyone will agree about that; babies are the symbol of innocence. They are born pure, sinless, know nothing about the complication of human minds, passions, and lusts. Their faces invite nothing but smiles, “pooh-pe-doohs”, and several unbelievably super-cute names like “little-pooh-bear”, “honey-bunny”, “my little lamb”, and so on. But not for me, because after read that short-story, I couldn’t help myself to think like this when I see a baby : what will they grow up into ? How can we believe that people such as burglars, murderers, child-molesters, Hitler, Jack the Ripper, Ted Bundy and Ed Gein were used to be babies with cute face and moonlighted innocence ?

Intriguing, and kind of sad.